Position of Women

Q: The humiliating position of womenThey cannot decide whom they get married to and can be divorced any time without any formality. ... or can be exchanged for another woman. Quran 4:20 says:“And if you wish to have (one) wife in place of another and you have given one of them a heap of gold, then take not from it anything; would you take it by slandering (her) and (doing her) manifest wrong?”Women have to obey their husbands and if the husband fears she will not obey she may be beaten. Quran 4:34:" Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great."Note: "beat them (fem. pl.)" in Arabic, is often translated by "discipline her" or “scourge her” because the translator is obviously too ashamed to use the word beating.One of the four schools of Islam, namely the Shafi'i school, states without shame that the only duty of a woman is to sexually satisfy her husband. Through her dowry he gets a one-off payment. This reminds me of the oldest profession in the world. Scholars of the Shafi'i school do not make this up. They simply learn this from the Quran:Quran 4:24. “...Then as to those whom you profit by, give them their dowries as appointed...”Quran 4:20. “And if you wish to have (one) wife in place of another and you have given one of them a heap of gold, then take not from it anything; would you take it by slandering (her) and (doing her) manifest wrong?Quran 4:21. “And how can you take it when one of you has already gone in to the other and they have made with you a firm covenant?This also has been confirmed by authentic traditions of Muhammad, which clearly state that the dowry is only linked to sexual intercourse with the husband. If he divorces her after having sexual intercourse even only once, he loses this money. (Muslim, Book 9, number 3557.)

A: According to the Quran, it is necessary for the parents/guardians to take the consent of the woman in the decision of her marriage. That they do not, they will be answerable for that. Dowry is a security that a man must give his bride as an affirmation that he will love and care for her, and he is not supposed to ask back in case of divorce. Marriage is a source of peace and tranquility, as mentioned in Surah Room: 30:21 And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflectDivorce is permissible, and in such cases, the man seeking the divorce may not ask the dowry back.

To be or not to be equal: Comments on gender equity in Islam

Question: Are women equal to or inferior to men in Islam?

Answer: Women are NOT INFERIOR to men, women are NOT EQUAL to men, women are SUPERIOR to men in Islam.
Men have been appointed our guardians and protectors, and as such have been accorded certain rights over us (that is obedience and fidelity, guarding what one must guard in any relationship). They have to go out and earn the bread, they have to provide food, clothing and comfort for the wife, the children, his parents and the rest of the family including unmarried or widowed sisters, and the community at large, according to their means, and discharge these financial duties with love, kindness and willing happiness!
Women have been given the burden of pregnancy and childbirth, and as such, have been exempted of everything else. They have the freedom to do business/ jobs, but are not required to spend a single penny from it on anybody, except of their own free will.
The institution of marriage is to get ‘sukoon’….. that is peace and contentment/ happiness/ a state of felicity! Furthermore, men are required to give a gift (mehr) to the wife at the time of the nikah, before consumption of marriage, according to the financial means of the groom, which is hers to keep and do whatever she wishes with it, and she is not required to return it even if they eventually divorce.
Men may have been allowed to marry more than once BUT under certain conditions………… they are to take care of the orphans in the society…. And if they are not able to foster-parent the orphans, they may marry( I think the ayat implies the widowed mother), and yet the ayat continues to say that you may alternatively use the services of your servants/slaves for the purpose of taking care of the orphans, and that ONE(wife) is better for you if you know!
Men may have been given the right to divorce, but under so many conditions that it is extremely difficult, if they want to follow letter and spirit. Women have also been given the right to khula.
Furthermore, in the event of death or divorce, Allah tells the women to wait for a period prescribed till it is established if the woman is pregnant or not, so that the father of the child may be accurately identified, but after the prescribed time-period, the woman is free to marry. Don’t find any advice for re-marriage for men anywhere except for the care of orphans!
In financial transactions, it is prescribed to take as witness one man or two women; in cases of adultery, the witness of four pious men is required, and if they are found lying, then forever their word is not to be accepted in any matter!
What is essential is the spirit within, in that case, all humans are equal, the male or female body is simply the mortal shell without, and thus the different rules for the time we spend here on this temporary abode.
May Allah grant us all the guidance to study the Quran, understand it, and follow it and may Allah grant us all success in both this world and the hereafter. Amen.